Where is my focus?

One night my wife and I had a serious talk. She was trying to point out to me that I regularly come at things from a negative frame. I became highly defensive and protested. Then, she highlighted the fact that invariably when she asked me how my day had been, even if some good things had happened in the course of my day, I would begin with and accent the negative. Gotcha, she had me!

Something had to change. I didn’t know why this was the case, whether to blame genes or what – but I knew it had been so for years and God had something better for me than the gravy-train of negativity so many others were caught up with.

The world is so negative, but is that my blueprint? The apostle Paul tells me, “Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think”  (negative speech comes from ‘stinking thinking’). Apparently, our guidance even depends on this. “Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is” (Romans 12:1,2 New Living).

A new song

Salt of the earth, light of the world sounds like a positive spirit to me. Where do you get that? 

Not long after this unexpected conversation, early into 2009, I was struggling to get back to sleep after waking in the night. The previous evening, I had been especially exhausted and looked at going to bed an hour or two earlier than I usually would, feeling quite shattered physically. Now, at three in the morning, almost without even thinking about it, I began a feast of thanksgiving over every season of my life. I began to go over the decades of my life quietly in my mind and chose to thank the Lord for every season – my childhood, my school years, my marriage, the seasons of my children growing up, my various places of employment, the first church I had pastored.

I thought of people who had loved me, my significant family memories, special friendships, ministry opportunities I had had, God at work in various churches I had served in up to the present day, life-saving medical interventions. I felt so tranquil during this precious praise time with the Lord I was asleep in no time, What’s more, when I awoke the next morning, I was totally refreshed.

Yes, there were hard times but gratitude makes sense of our past. How much more we have to thank God for, than to flagellate ourselves over!

Some months on from that sleepless night, I found the underlying lesson God taught me (the attitude of gratitude) had remained. I was at work rushing down my lunch – sausage casserole leftovers. The best lunch you can take to work is leftovers from the night before. While lunching, I was trying hurriedly to brief a work associate quickly on a file before taking up an appointment of my own.

The cardinal rule is not to attempt to talk at the same time you have a sausage in your mouth. Part of a sausage became stuck in my windpipe and no matter what I did, I was unable to dislodge it. While I began to choke profusely – I was well aware of my aunt who had passed away after choking on a fishbone one Boxing Day – I simultaneously experienced an amazing sense of peace in my spirit, as I reflected on what a great life God had graciously given me. What would I change?

Jesus my Saviour and constant companion, and guide through death (if this was my time). Wonderful marriage. Beautiful children and their life partners. Awesome grandchildren. Opportunity to lead / or pastor in a variety of churches. A fruitful ministry in God.

What different could I wish for?

As my mind was tracking all this, while my body was choking, I suddenly, a little embarrassingly, vomited up the sausage in my hands – but that tranquil sense of God’s gift of a full, rich life remained. I hope never to lose it.

I cannot help think of Genesis 25:8 where it is recorded “Abraham’s spirit was released and he died…an old man, satisfied and satiated.” (Amplified version). The latter word suggests amply filled, gratified, not berating himself over his shortcomings – his lies about Sarai, his jumping the gun and taking Hagar. I too can complete my days, fully satisfied if I permanently adjust my focus. 

Nowadays, when I begin to speak from a negative frame (as I am still a work in progress), the new song draws me back and I hope it always will. ”Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done.” (Colossians 2:7b New Living). Again, in Colossians, “let the peace of God rule in your heart and be thankful” (Colossians 3:15).  Yet again, “whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the Name of the Lord Jesus, GIVING THANKS to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17)

The challenge is to make thankfulness the compulsive habit-pattern of our life, a constant, worthy addiction.

Even our witness is infused with this, as we keep before us this fact. Our workmates aren’t going to be stirred by our doctrine – it’s our cheerfulness, our glad spirit that will more likely open their lives to christian truth – a grateful heart when the winds of life throw their icy blast in our face. 

This has been modelled so beautifully for us by our wonderful Pioneer. In the face of the Cross, He is still speaking of “My joy” (John 15:11). We have emphasised the ascription Man of Sorrows to the great neglect of Man of Joy. Christ celebrates the Passover with His disciples, at which time He will have sung the Hallel psalms (Psalms 113-118) with His followers. And then just as they are about to make their way to the Mount of Olives, He leads them in a hymn (lit. song of praise). How did He do this? He sets His mind not just on present joy but future joy and in the midst of it all, He gives thanks. “He was willing to die a shameful death on the Cross because of the joy He knew would be His afterwards” (Hebrews 12:2  New Living).

Remember this: A positive, optimistic spirit generates hope > hope releases dreams > dreams set goals > enthusiasm follows and hangs to our speech.