When you get more than you bargained for

I badly needed a haircut. As I was walking home, I passed a $10 barber's shop. Perfect! I didn’t want to spend too many of my hard-earned coins. As I walked into the shop, the proprietor greeted me warmly with, “What number?” My mind went to a small raffle. I am not a gambler but $2 a year for a good cause has never bothered me.

I instinctively said two. I didn’t hear any more about it as he guided me to the chair. I began to relax and soon the barber’s razor was bearing its way through the hair on my head. After a few moments, I temporarily came out of my relaxed doze and raised my eyes to observe a near-massacre going on. Here was a man who I had allowed to approach my delicate scalp with such a lethal weapon as an electric razor going in for the kill, and appearing to enjoy every minute of it. How would I possibly explain the result to my family, much less my congregation on Sunday morning?

My tongue was “tied.” Was it something to do with that wretched “two” word I had let slip when I first walked in? I sat perfectly still. I daren’t say a word and appear foolish, but could only hope and pray it would soon all be over. Maybe, over the next few minutes He planned to do something amazing that would redeem the assault that had been so mercilessly inflicted.

Regrettably, there was no rescuing knight and I ended up sitting it out. Finally, I was released from my chair. There was no raffle and on the walk home I could see my image as I passed by shop windows. This was worse than I thought. Did I need to hide myself away in a locked room for several weeks until, like Samson, my hair finally began to grow again?

I crept inside and made my way into my daughters’ room. One of the girls was lying on her bed, reading. I whispered loud enough to get her attention, without raising the alarm for the rest of the house. I was dearly hoping she would help me hatch a plan before seeing mum. Immediately she got sight of me, she almost burst as she rolled off the bed onto the floor in huge joy and merriment. You can only begin to imagine what it was like when I presented myself to the lady of the house. As it happens, with family agreement, I have regularly progressed to shorter and shorter haircuts but this was a very different era.

A new song

It is interesting to observe Scripture has a theology about making assumptions. Perhaps the pre-eminent example comes in 1 Samuel 16. Samuel was called by God to anoint a new leader for Israel to replace King Saul. The king had forfeited his right to rule through his disobedience. Samuel saw Eliab the oldest of Jesse’s sons stand before him. Evidently, he distinguished himself and looked the part in every way. “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him!” (verse 6). Perhaps, Samuel had forgotten that Saul equally looked the part in every way, 1 Samuel 9:2.

Then came those immortal words: “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7). God was looking for the person who would shepherd His people according to the integrity of his heart (Psalm 78:72). He was looking for a David.

Our tendency is to look at other people through a negative construct, rather than a positive construct, especially those we find it hard to relate to for whatever reason.

How easily we misjudge others, for good or for ill. I remember the day we had arrived at church camp. A car had parked at the entrance, still ahead of us. I noticed the female party lugged all her husband’s luggage out of the car, as well as her own. What a self-centred man I thought to myself! Where is the servant attitude? But immediately we drove up closer I felt the huge tug of the Spirit on my soul. Now I was close enough to see the white cane. I saw from a distance and I made an immediate judgment without having the facts.

Our tendency is to look at other people through a negative construct, rather than a positive construct, especially those we find it hard to relate to for whatever reason. I have lost count of the number of times I have sought to coach separated couples to look through a positive lens. “So, he’s 40 minutes late in returning the kids. It may just be that he’s stuck in traffic and his mobile has run out of credit. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s out to punish you.”

In the classic story of Job, we meet with Job’s comforters. Interestingly, we only see true comfort flowing in the second chapter, as Job’s best mates sat with their friend seven days and seven nights, and they didn’t say a word. Sadly, it was when they opened their mouths, the assumptions came.

One of Solomon’s proverbs I have learned to lean on a lot in my relational life is Proverbs 18:17. The New Living Translation puts it this way:

Any story sounds true until someone sets the record straight.
Proverbs 18:17

This is a proverb that needs to be framed and hung in the room where the church leadership usually meet. How often a concern is brought forward and the assumption is made the “facts” as they are presented to us represent all there is to know about a situation, and we move to act. Nothing could be more dangerous.

As a young, inexperienced dad I would hear a hullabaloo at the other end of the house and would belt down the hallway with my “fix it” hat on. We see a child hitting on their brother or giving some “lip.” Of course, we think to ourself, we’ve got the troublemaker. How little we know! And we end up dressing down the innocent child who we had merely caught protesting in self-defence. We still so easily rush in where angels fear to tread.

To my shame, I well remember an occasion when as a younger trigger-happy guy I had a brush with another car at a major intersection. I was certain the other driver was at fault and spoke to her more harshly than I had right to do. She protested but I held to my point and continued to remonstrate with her. She appeared both nervous and frustrated with me. Soon, she was opening her purse and offering me some cash, as she wanted to make a quick exit.

Something nagged at me as I drove on and so it was that I parked the car on my return and took a closer look. I had been at fault. The Holy Spirit “set the record straight.” It was probably from that day I needed to have embedded in my spirit the prayer of St Francis of Assisi: “Lord! Grant that I may seek more to understand than to be understood.” Matthew adds his strain to the new song. Never assume your problem has somehow outstripped God’s resources. Matthew 15:33, “Then His disciples said to Him, ‘Where could we get enough bread in the wilderness to fill such a great multitude?’ ”

Jesus still answers: how many loaves do you have? Our great creative God still has all his ancient power. He is still head of His church, King of our family, Lord of His people, Master of our situation. Nothing outpaces Him. Don’t ever imagine (assume) you’re facing a situation that has Him licked. Not even a messy $10 haircut.

Perhaps, it is the Apostle John who gives us the final word on assumption theology. “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits whether they be of God” (1 John 4:1). There is coming a day of great apostasy, when many will fall away (Matthew 24:11). It will be a day when false prophets abound. It is easy to go in the direction of the most persuasive argument. Do not be taken in by the most recent compelling voice. Surely that has wise application in all our daily life. Thank you John.