I didn't break the concrete

One of the frightening memories of my young life was the afternoon dad called me outside and wanted me to confess to breaking up the concrete. I was only of slight build and around 7 years of age but apparently, if I had selected the right implement I could easily have done the damage and chipped away at the concrete path close to our back door.

I had no idea how it had all occurred but was at least very certain I hadn’t done it. However, this small frightened boy would say anything to reduce the rage in my father’s eyes and so I owned up. A hiding followed for my serious misdemeanour.

A few days later, all was revealed and dad discovered the villain of the story was in fact a little boy nextdoor. Nevertheless, I was comforted with the understanding that the physical discipline meted out on this occasion made up for other occasions when I should have got it but didn’t (sounded like an Edwardian tale to me).

I also will have unwittingly left my marks on my children when it comes to events from their childhood. Please do not misunderstand me. I dearly love both my mum (now in heaven) and dad. Nevertheless, the sorry fact is we all carry scar tissue from our earliest years because living in a fallen world, it is impossible to experience a perfect childhood.

I did not realise the extent to which this memory had buckled down in my psyche until I was an adult. It especially showed itself in marriage dynamics if I perceived any whiff of “false accusation.” Perhaps I thought I had worked particularly hard cleaning a pot to hear “that pot looks like it might do with a bit more elbow grease Wayne.” This might be true but I was hypervigilant to deflect the slightest inference I had under-performed.

My wife became very understanding of my sensitivities in this area and would often help me notice it in other areas of my relationships, as I was all too often overinvested in my own reality.

However, it began to affect me in ways that I had not previously imagined, and her timely words straight from the heart were often needed to prevent me going down the suffocating road of guilt and shame, and help me back on track.

New song

“You didn’t cause that marriage to break down irretrievably. You may have wished you could have handled their last two counselling sessions differently but when they came to you, their relationship was already seriously fractured Wayne. You didn’t break the concrete.”

“You didn’t break up the fellowship Wayne. There were other factors at play and many personalities contributed to its demise. You couldn’t have saved it from happening. You were not KING KONG. You didn’t break the concrete.”

Thank you. I needed that.

What a healing flow of words!

Strongholds today can have long links back. For me it would often repeat itself when I had cause to feel serious disappointment in myself. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything that needs to be revealed. Then, under His guidance and strengthening power, say the words that will help set you free. For me, it was a new song “I didn’t break the concrete” and hearing the Lord’s glad Amen!