Pushing through

It was my 49th birthday, and I wanted to end the 40s in style. I know — a go-kart night. So, I rallied all my best mates, male and female, for the challenge. I was looking forward to it and well remember an occasion when I was much younger at Camp. I'll never forget the voice from the sidelines, “Did you see that? Wayne lapped him!” I couldn't wait to do it again.

A pastor once shared in my hearing, “Never kill the boy in the man. If you do, you kill the man.”

I rang to make the booking and thought the manager would be thrilled to get my booking — a group of about 12, for a couple of hours racing. Yet, even from the outset, I detected his difficult manner. It wouldn't be a good night because of another group who were coming in at 11p.m and they had a standard booking on Friday nights. Still I bravely pressed on, convincing him we would be a very accommodating group and out in time. At the back of my mind it occurred to me that there might be other options — ten pin bowling perhaps? But then you're only 49 once!

On the night we arrived, we were met by a disgruntled manager who assured me we didn't have a booking, and acted as if he had never heard from me. Here he was talking to Wayne Martin, the meticulous planner. He then went on to complain rather loudly about the hour he would get home that night and he'd rather be curled on the sofa with his wife. It was clear he had never been to the requisite sales training that reminds the businessman the customer is the only reason he is in business.

I could feel the anger rising within me — but especially the sense of shame with my friends who had come with a great attitude, and here I was needing to pull the plug.

I indicated we would move elsewhere when suddenly he seemed to recant and offered us another way of keeping our "booking." Just as I was about to say yes, my friend Warren approached me and pointed out that the shape of the kart time he was now offering would mean we would end up paying twice the price. Clearly, I could no longer avoid the pain of embarrassment and I needed to let my dream go while we salvaged what we could of the evening at a nearby ten-pin alley.

As I was leaving, and after most of my friends had left for their cars, I gave a passing shot over my shoulder, “maybe, you'll be able to go home and spend the evening with your wife after all.” Immediately, he sprang to his feet and came after all 5'4" of me like a raging bull. My heart was in my mouth and I quickly exited.

A new song

I had a long time to reflect over the whole event and came to the conclusion things began to become unstuck when I determined to “protect” the idea (the fantasy). This particular gentleman was always going to be difficult. I can't expect everyone is going to like me, some people have a hard enough job liking themselves. As something (or someone) begins, expect it to go on. First impressions are often right, because people “leak” out of who they are.

On this occasion, I learned if you encounter an attitude of obstructiveness, expect that's not going to change. I can let go the fantasy and save myself a lot of pain, and shame, downtrack. Believe Solomon when he says, “Putting confidence in an unreliable person is like chewing with a toothache or walking on a broken foot” (Proverbs 25:19 NLT).

One who rules his spirit always outsmarts the person who loses his coolProverbs 16:32

No matter how important the fantasy, I need to let it go, the sooner the better.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change" can include someone else's disposition.

Just don't become like him. Take care with what words I sling over my shoulder, not just because physically I can't match him, but because (1) I don't want to mimic “a city with broken down walls” (Proverbs 25:28). Thomas Jefferson said, "Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances" (101 Blessings for Dad). Solomon put it another way when he reminds us that one who rules his spirit always outsmarts the person who loses his cool (Proverbs 16:32) — and I want to be that man; because (2) I'm called to bless (1 Peter 3:9). Peacemakers shall be called sons of God (Matthew 5:9).

Thank you Mr.Go-kart man for the life lesson.

By the way, I won my game at ten-pin bowling.