That piercing look

For several years, I had the delightful task of serving a hospice as a relief chaplain. This brought many rewarding hours and some wonderful conversations.

My hardest memory is that of walking past an elderly lady obviously near her end, who had an anguished look as she turned her face towards me at the time she was passing. It felt to me she was in some spiritual desperation.

My first instinct was to pray with her or in some other tangible way make myself available to her, but I sensed great resistance from her family as I moved in her direction, and so I passed on. Belatedly, I returned and spoke to a daughter who was at her side, suggesting she might like to share with her a prayer which I was able to leave with her on a pre-printed card.

I don't know if she did this, or if her daughter might have shared with her, or spoken over her...

Here was a dear woman who was entering the final moments of her life, without spiritual help or support. She had every right to expect this from me. Her look haunted me for weeks. What could I have done better?

A new song

In consultation with a friend, a new truth dawned on me. God knows the soul to reach the end of its journey. He sees the soul that is self-sufficient and the soul that is reaching out for His grace. I began to explore for myself the very refreshing I yearned to bring this lady.

The invitation is there for everyone — to take Jesus as our Rest! Everything that matters, everything that satisfies is to be found in Him. Rest brings the soul its greatest freedom. It provides release from fear, strife and anxiety. It is behind the great "Come" of Matthew 11:28. God alone knows any final conversation which may have taken place between this dear lady and Himself. His promise stands forever true:

whosoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved
Acts 2:21

For the future, I have learned I do not have to concern myself with family boundaries when there is someone in the midst exercising her own autonomy and making a pleading request with her eyes my way. I need not be warded off by family, or fearful of them. If I ever have such an opportunity again, I shall move forward respectfully, and state, "I believe your mother would like me to pray with her."

For now, I shall rest in the God of all grace who has special care for every soul entering eternity looking for grace. I shall trust it all to God and take up God's gift for me in the present. Rest is trust — leaning back on His finished work, knowing that everything that truly matters/ everything that satisfies/ everything that lasts is found in Him. "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (Genesis 18:25).

We know from Matthew 11:28,29 that Jesus is intent on bringing the dying and the living to that place of rest. In this life and in the next, "there remains a rest for the people of God" (Hebrews 4:9).