Give obedience time

I was raised in a very loving christian home. There was no doubt that dad loved mum and mum loved dad, and they both loved their children. There was also no doubt who "wore the pants." Dad was a man to be feared and respected as he maintained his instant obedience regime throughout the house; "don't let me tell you twice" was his regular refrain. Mum too honoured and respected him, deferred to him as spiritual head of the home.

In subsequent years, I came to see that the regime my dad had me under, while not totally out of step with the age (when one is born in the 1950s) was also his way of showing love. If I obeyed instantly, Dad would not have to give me a physical hiding. He did not want to have to lay a hand on me, which is why I guess I had the "benefit" of a verbal hammering instead.

I am sure my dad also wished to give me some of the strong guidance he missed out on, when orphaned at the age of 12. His intentions were I am sure very noble.

When I first married, I was very happy to fit my feet into these shoes – the strong headship / control model I had observed from my childhood. They were a good fit. The Scriptures – the way I was taught them – reinforced this understanding. I think on occasions I possibly even accentuated the parenting style I had known and many times I saw my children visibly wilt as I performed in front of them like a true sergeant-major.

A new song

One day after our older children had fully grown I began reading Philippians 2 with new interest as I saw something in the passage I had not fully appreciated before. Verses 12 and 13 indicate that while the Lord expects us to put "flesh" on our salvation, we can rest assured we have a "God Who works in (us) both to will (ie. give us the desire) and to act according to His good purpose" (New International Version). Lightbulb moment!

God works patiently with us as He encourages our obedience.

This is the God of Gideon Who works with him as he seeks visual encouragement to support his understanding of what his God has told him to do in the first place. The Lord does not scold him but offers him even more than what he has asked Him for (Judges 7:9-15). Consider the call of Moses or of Jeremiah, the Apostle Peter's response to the vision on the rooftop: "Rise Peter, kill and eat." "Not so Lord, for I have never eaten anything common or unclean" (Acts 10). We do not all have the faith of Abraham who rose without delay early the next morning to make his greatest sacrifice. But praise God that one of our Lord's most endearing qualities is this. He is longsuffering towards us, "He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust" (Psalms 103:14). Even Gethsemane was a process.

If it were not this way, this blog would never have been created. The fruit of desire doesn't appear on the tree overnight. The Lord began nudging me some years ago, then prodding me some more until in more recent times He has come to my spirit with unequivocal direction and encouragement on almost a daily basis. Over all this period, He has allowed me time to catch up to His pace and given me an increasing desire, then a burning passion to get the job done.

The fruit of desire doesn't appear on the tree overnight.

"Lord, I cannot redo my parenting; those years are gone now. But as I sit with people who are struggling to walk down the new path you are calling them on, help me to be patient with them and gently encourage them to pursue God's best for their life. May they find it easy to talk with me about their reluctance and be released in the presence of gentleness to step out and follow Your unmistakable call wherever it lead. Meanwhile I will trust God is at work, giving the desire to obey and then the power to put it into action." Praise God we serve no sergeant-major.